the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
