A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
