that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
