sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
