3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
