He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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