There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
