he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
