i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
