You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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