he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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