guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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