That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
only you would photoshop your dick
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
