I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
