whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
