Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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