oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
