the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
