i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
