He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
