so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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