Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
