I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
