Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
