you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
