those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
