I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
