i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
