Yo dont text me then not text me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
