I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
