That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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