I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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