so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
