the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
