is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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