we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
