i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm having to shit out rocks
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