you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's Friday. Sex?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
