The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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