We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
