and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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