why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize