I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
