There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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