I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
