You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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