I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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