remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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