Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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