Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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