listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Randomize
