it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
