shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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