Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
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