In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
