Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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