im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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