kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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